Ya know, it's funny what a person can get used to and live with. A lot of people sitting in a comfortable or complacent point in their life say things like "I would never tolerate such and such" or "what was that person thinking" or "why didn't so & so know better/demand more". Tolerating inequities around you, knowing that you can't change certain things and existing in a life than perfect world is not a sign of weakness or low self esteem. Quite the opposite. A person who toils with the daily struggle to achieve a goal they have set, take care of their families, or simply exist without perishing has achieved the greatest possible level of self evolution and understanding of their own existance.
Many of you have asked why I would come here and subject myself to the harsh conditions, hard work, and possibly danger. I have begun to feel a bit of the pain this week as I start working the night shift. The first night was easy, everything was new and fresh so the stimulus kept you going. Second night, the drag from the lack of sleep and food starts to catch you. The newness is gone, the routine begins. Third night, hmm, might be ok. I am starting to develop a routine. So here it is:
2pm wake up, eat breakfast, check e-mail, check bank account, brush teeth, wash face, stretch, push-ups, sit-ups, put my hair up, clean out my bag, prepare food and protein drink for ride, put on uniform, double check everything I just did, and head out to the bus 2 hours later. Ride to work with a bunch of other smelly tired people wearing the same uniform they had on yesterday, covered in the same sand, having the same conversations. When we get to work, we have about an hour and some to draw our weapons from the armory, put our gear up, bathroom, admin, supply check, text message the new man, formation, orders, post assignments, ass chewing, and then we are sent to work.
We rotate positions to keep things fresh. On of the assignments is checking ID's at the gate as people come in. Apparently the new people are always assigned there. So every 2 weeks, the "customers" coming on post are checking out the new meat. I have already been asked to handcuff some guy. Some of the guys are going to get whiplash looking at me. It's really funny. I am wearing a baggy tan uniform, a safety vest, hat, etc, nothing to get excited about. Yeah, I have a nice smile, but not nice enough to warrant the overt and ridiculous behaviour of the deprived men coming through my lane. Oops, I digress from my topic of suffering. So I am standing out front for several hours before my shift ends. The sun is just coming up high enough to need sunglasses as we move out to the buses. I keep my sunglasses in a pocket in my shirt, behind velcro, and under the safety vest. When I take them out in the morning, it looks like saw dust covering them. This stuff is on my clothes, in my nose, on my bags laying on the pallet by the guard shack. I'm tired, been on my feet for most of the shift, been harassed, put up with bullshit company politics that would make for a really good movie if I wasn't in it, and haven't eaten very well. The night shift gets to eat chow at 11:15 pm and the menu is limited. I am juggling my menu around trying to figure out what to eat when to keep my energy up. The night time temperature right is nice, mid 80's but humid. The effective temperature on our bodies is much higher. I need to my final prep for arrival at work. The bus has cleared the first gate. see you in the morning :-)
I haven't forgotten the topic at hand, I can't, the sacrifices are on going and I am surrounded by other foreign nationals making the same choices, much harder than mine as they have spouses and children they left behind.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
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